Part 1: Beauty Is a Woman Named...

Beauty is a woman named

Renita Bolton.

     Two years ago this March, I began dating the son of one of the most beautiful women in the world; I just didn't know it at the time. Over the next several months, Renita would become to me a second mother, a dear friend, and a kindred spirit - someone I could count on to tell me the truth, share in my pain, and help me find beauty when I couldn't see any. I hope I did the same for her.

     Less than a month ago, this woman who grew so dear to my heart in such a short time left this world to sit at the feet of our Heavenly Father. As I stood in the receiving line at the funeral home beside her husband Tommy and her son Kyle who became my husband last June, I was blown away at the outpouring of love we received from those who knew Renita. With each passing handshake, hug, and kind word, it became evidently clear to me that I wasn't the only one who was dazzled by Renita's beauty. Today I want to try to put into words just what it is about this woman that captured so many. I think I can explain in two simple truths.

1. Her love for God and her faith in Him drove her life.

     I have never in all my life met a woman more optimistic than my mother-in-law. Some may point out that's not saying a whole lot for me because it seems that the females in my family (including myself) tend to be eternal pessimists, but I fully know that regardless of the scale on which I have to measure, Renita is the brightest light. The entire time I knew her, her life was what most would deem a struggle. Shortly after I met her, she was forced to quit working due to her health. This alone broke her heart, but the difficulty it brought to her home would've been enough to crush anyone's spirit. Oh yes, she had hard days. I sat across from her at the kitchen table on several occasions sharing tears over the past and sorrows about the present, but for Renita, there was always a light at the end of the tunnel. It didn't matter how long she cried, when it was over, she would set her eye on the hope of the future.

     She found this hope in one place alone: her relationship with Jesus Christ. It still amazes me the faith this woman had. She countered every harsh reality with a promise from God. To be honest, right after she passed away, I felt so angry with God because I kept calling to mind all those promises she stood on, and I just didn't feel that those promises had been fulfilled. I couldn't have been further from the truth. Regardless of what we here on Earth desired, Renita had her ultimate hope for the future fulfilled: meeting her Savior face to face. It was His life in her that made her truly beautiful. 

    2. Meeting her just once could change your life forever. 

     I've always heard those little inspirational quotes about crossing paths and being forever changed or how one person had the potential to offset another's chosen direction with simply a smile. While these words were always beautiful thoughts, I never found them to be beautiful truths until I met my mother-in-law. I promise you the woman didn't go anywhere that she didn't impact someone's life. She always wore a smile, and laughter was constantly dancing on her lips. Her words were full of encouragement and zeal, and while sometimes they carried a bite (especially to those who knew her well,) she made a point to speak truth and life.

     Renita was a nurse by trade, but her capacity to care for others went far beyond any learned bedside manner; it was truly a gift from God. When you looked into her eyes, you felt sincerity. When she hugged you, her embrace spoke of overwhelming love. She was a mother to more than just her son, a sister to more than just her brother. She was a woman who knew no stranger and who looked for the good in everything and everyone. She was capable of pulling beauty out of the ugliest situations and if truth be told, out of the ugliest people. Her whole life reflected the beauty of the world around her.

     Beauty is a woman named Renita. Yes, she had warm, honey eyes, thick hair that could hold a curl, and a smile that lit up the entire world, but these outward traits were only a fraction of her beauty. Her beauty was found in her Heavenly Father's love for her, the love that she shared with everyone she met. Her beauty was in the way she made those around her feel: special, important, victorious. Her beauty was the hope she kept hidden in her heart, the hope she fostered against all odds and poured out to those who were hurting as well. 

     It is my hope to do for others what she did for me. I want to take the love and the kindness and the truth that she gave to me, that God gave to me through her, and pour it out on others. I want to be the kind of person who is full of life and love and laughter. I want to be the kind of person who seeks out all of God's beauty in all of God's creations and opens others' eyes and hearts to all the good there is to be found. In some of my darkest moments of doubt, shame, hurt, and fear, Renita helped me find light. She taught me how to see beauty in myself that I had never noticed before. I want to be one who can do that for others. After all, what good is beauty buried beneath dirt or hidden by the dust of the past? Truly beauty is meant to be shared and enjoyed. I am eternally thankful Renita's was shared with me.